There are many aspects to recovery. In order to successfully recover from drugs or alcohol you will have to master many skills. These can include things like developing self-control and self-discipline, forgiving people who have wronged you, and setting goals for your new life.
But one of the biggest skills you need to master is the ability to practice love and tolerance. For many addicts this can be extremely difficult. If youâve had problems with drugs or alcohol, thereâs a good chance that youâve become a hateful, twisted person. You may feel angry at people or the world. You could be bitter and resentful towards other people, and have a chip on your shoulder, says Eric – owner of Anchored Recovery drug and alcohol detox program in Orange County, California.
There are dozens of negative emotions which you may feel towards other people. Not only that, you may have become a genuinely bad person. Many addicts will do anything to get their fix. You may have spent years of your life telling lies and cheating people.
Whatâs more, thereâs a good chance that your nerves are completely shot. You may have spent months or even years abusing certain substances. These substances numb your senses and cause you to withdraw from the world around you. Now that youâre sober youâve started to reconnect with the world and with your senses. This can be overwhelming for many people. It might feel as if your senses have become sharper. In this way recovery can almost feel like the worst hangover of your life.
The bottom line is that a big part of rehab involves love and tolerance. You have to learn how to love people again and become a part of normal society. You also have to learn to tolerate the world around you and handle lifeâs up and down without resorting to drugs or alcohol.
You will also have to tolerate the people youâve met in recovery. The unfortunate truth is that recovery can be an extremely stressful experience. Not only, do you have to put up with withdrawals and cravings, but you also have to put up with a group of strangers, many of whom have the exact same problems as you do. Many of these might be people who you would never encounter in the real world.
They might be people who you would never ordinarily socialize with, and you may have nothing in common other than being addicts. Despite all this, you have to get along with them, and for many addicts this can be difficult. Ultimately you have to learn how to tolerate these people and even love them on some level.
If you can learn to do this then your chances of recovery are greatly increased. Remember, negative emotions are one of the biggest reasons why people relapse. By practicing love and tolerance you will greatly improve your chances of succeeding. As weâve said many people have trouble with this. To help you out here are some ideas for practicing love and tolerance.
1. Treat People Like You Would Want to Be Treated
This is probably the most important step of tolerance. You need to treat people the exact same way that youâd like to be treated. This can be extremely difficult. Withdrawal and cravings will sometimes put you in a terrible mood. You may be tempted to take your frustrations out on other people, treat them unkindly, or express your feelings of anger towards them. All of these things must be avoided. Remember, do to others as you would have them do to you.
2. Accept People for Who They Are
A big part of recovery is accepting who you are. You need to learn to accept and love yourself, no matter what youâve done, and no matter what types of faults or weaknesses you have. At the same time you need to accept other people. You have to learn how to accept and love everything about the person. You also need to develop patience, love, and understanding for the other person. Remember, you can do this without necessarily having to like the person
3. Be Open-minded
Next, you need to become open minded and avoid judging people. This can be one of the hardest things youâll ever do. But what you have to remember is this. You cannot judge someone until youâve walked in their shoes. Unless youâve had that person’s unique experience, thereâs really no way to judge how they act, what theyâve done, or who they are. Also realize that everyone is going through their own struggles. You really cannot judge a person until youâve lived the life they have. This is why you need to learn how to be open-minded. Simply listen to the person without commenting or criticizing them.
4. Focus on Yourself
Along with being opened-minded and non-judgemental, you also need to focus on yourself. Remember, the reason why youâre in treatment is because you have serious problems with drugs or alcohol. Youâre not there to judge other people or comment on their behaviour. Your only responsibility is to yourself. The reason why youâre in rehab is to overcome your own problems, not to become involved in other peopleâs problems. Focus on loving and tolerating other people, but do not concern yourself with what they are doing. Remember, the experience of treatment is different for everyone. Every single person is on a different journey, and itâs up to you to focus on your own journey, and whatâs going on in your own life.
5. Help Other People Without Expecting Anything in Return
One of the greatest ways to love someone is to simply help them, and do this without expecting anything in return. This can mean many things. On the most basic level it simply means listening to the person and allowing them to express themselves openly and honestly. Do not comment or try to give advice. Simply allow them to express themselves. Helping someone also means doing things for them. What this means exactly will depend on the situation, but you can always find ways to help people.
